Letting Go

Hi my name is Sam, and I’m a bit (okay a lot) of a control freak.

In unison, “Hi Sam!”

As some of you may know I recently started my student teaching program, so I am now out of the house all day during the week. This means that I am also away from daughter all day for the first time (see here for how I feel about that part). My daughter isn’t being taken care of exactly the same way that I would (Well, hello Sam they aren’t you). She plays a little differently, she has naps at different times, and well everything is just a little different because its not me with her. In reality I’m pretty okay with this because I understand that she is happy, clean, and fed; which in the big scheme of things is all that really matters. There are times, however, that I literally want to lose my mind a little.

I will admit to you all that I like things done the way I like them done.

I know that this is slightly childish and rather annoying for people around me, but I just can’t help myself. Now when it comes to my daughter I’m even worse!

I’m learning (slowly, very slowly) how to let go and enjoy the way other people function and complete tasks. I’m not super woman and I simply can’t do everything myself, but honestly sometimes I wish I could. Help, therefore, is a bit of a necessity these days.

I want to smile and laugh with my little girl when I am home. I don’t want to be stressed and frustrated because somethings a little different. So I’m working on that…

I’m working on ignoring the little things to focus on the big ones.

I’m realizing what really matters.

I’m learning to accept help.

What do you all do to let go of control so that others can help you? And how do you know which “battles” are worth fighting?

Until Next Time Lovelies,

Sam

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Expectations Versus Reality

Let’s talk about my Easter weekend for a second. You guys I had such high hopes, and I was so excited for everything that I had planned for the entire weekend. Reality then set in, including the Pacific Northwest living up to its rainy reputation.

Here is what I had planned:

  • Saturday morning I wanted to leave our apartment around 9 to make it to a (free) egg hunt at a local park
  • After the park we were going to get lunch at our favorite Mexican place (Charlotte could nap during this too)
  • After I wanted to head to a different park full of Cherry Blossoms to take some family photos (my sister-in-law was in town)
  • We would call it a day Saturday and head home to relax
  • Sunday I wanted to wake up and do Charlotte’s Easter basket, and take super adorable photos of her giggling and smiling while grabbing her new toys (totally unrealistic I now realize).
  • The rest of the day I just wanted to play and snuggle as a family
  • That evening my parents were coming into town and we were planning to go to their hotel and have Charlotte have her first time in a pool
  • And then end the day with a nice dinner

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So literally none of this went according to my “grand plan.”

First off Saturday morning it was POURING rain so out went the egg hunt. We thought about doing pictures with the Easter bunny at the mall but honestly it was expensive and I’m not super into the bunny photos. We  decided eventually to head out to the town where the egg hunt was to at least still get some yummy Mexican food. We drove around afterwards and tried to find something Easter-y to do but we were literally too late for everything we drove up to! Not going to lie I had a complete melt down, like it probably could have been considered a temper tantrum (not my proudest moment). I wanted to make all these memories for Charlotte’s first Easter and nothing was working the way that I wanted them to and my husband definitely heard about it.  The rain finally stopped so we did end up getting some cute photos at the park near our apartment, but it was freezing. By that point we went home and watched movies. I got over my melt down and we had a snuggle filled evening.

Now for Easter morning. Charlotte woke up cranky because that is what a 2 month old does sometimes. My husband took his sister to the airport at 4 am so he obviously came home and went back to sleep. My idea of a cute Easter morning was not happening. We ended up waiting and doing her basket when my parents arrived that afternoon, and she had no idea what was happening and the pictures just didn’t even happen because there was so much going on. On to the pool and Charlotte hated it (I think it was more that she was hungry), but she screamed the whole time! Luckily dinner went well, but this weekend taught me so much.

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Life does not go according to plan, especially when a child is involved. I need to learn to roll with the punches and to not get upset when my plan doesn’t work. Honestly this is much easier said than done for me. I am a “planner.” I always have all these expectations for “special occasions” and then I am almost always disappointed because life never works the way we want it to. My husband tries to remind me constantly that we have much more fun when we do things without my “grand plans,” but I just can’t help myself sometimes.

Hopefully I can work on it but I am positive that I will have at least a few more tantrums in my lifetime over plans going horribly wrong. But here’s to trying to limit the amount!

Do any of you have similar issues when your expectations don’t match the reality?

Love Always,

Sam

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This is my wonderful sister-in-law Katie.