Come the start of this next school year I will (finally) start student teaching in order to complete my Degree and become a credentialed teacher. Let me just say that this has been a long time coming (7 years by the time I’m done!), but finishing school also means having to put Charlotte into Daycare. This is a constant, daily mental struggle of being so excited to finally finish up my degree, and absolutely dreading the day I have to leave her with someone else.
I have always pictured myself being a working mom; I thrive on being busy. Never did I ever imagine or comprehend just how hard it would be to leave my little girl in order to be that working mom. To be honest just writing this post makes me upset.
Because this whole process isn’t stressful enough, let’s add the fact that horror stories about babies and children at day cares circulate the internet on the daily. This gives proof that there is a legitimate concern when finding the right place for your child.
Part of me honestly just wants to give up and stay with her. I don’t want to leave her, and the thought of leaving her with someone that I just met is terrifying. Why even go through all of these? I’ll just stay home…oh wait we hardly make it by as a single income family. Oh and I have dreams and desires too. And I want to be a role model for my daughter that she can accomplish anything. And all the student loans would be for nothing. And I would be able to provide her so much more with an income of my own. And the list goes on and on. For me going back to school so that I can have a career is just what makes sense in the bigger picture. I want my daughter to thrive and in order for her to be able to do that I need to be happy so that I’m the best Momma I can be.
All of the pros still doesn’t make this any easier. I’m dreading that first day, but at the same time I’m excited. I can’t even begin to wrap my head around these contrasting emotions. More to come on this later I’m sure as the day approaches and through my constant search for the right day care.
How did you lovelies handle the transition to daycare?