I realize that I am completely bias when I say this but I honestly think that I have the best husband; he’s not only great to me but he is an amazing father to Charlotte. Being his wife and living with him has definitely taught me some life lessons, and believe me, some were difficult to wrap my head around.
If you read my “about me” page (and if you haven’t you can check it out here) then you know that my husband is a logger here in Oregon. Now before you start throwing negative opinions my way (not to accuse but a lot of people actually do) I want you to realize that I am an incredibly protective and proud wife, let me explain the state in which my husband comes home every. single. day. He works HARD all day out in the woods, often on the side of a mountain, so needless to say he comes home filthy. I mean to the point that he has dirt in the creases under his eyes and his pants could practically stand on their own. His arms are covered in scratches and I can’t begin to tell you the amount of times that he has had poison oak. I truly and utterly appreciate the work he puts in each day to support our family rain or shine he is out there running up and down that hill. All this being said it is next to impossible to keep our apartment spotless or even remotely close to perfectly clean at all times (and that was before the baby!). So here is my life lesson #1:
A clean house is never more important than family or your sanity.
I used to stress so much about keeping our apartment looking “perfect” because I thought that was what a good wife was supposed to do. Well I hardly had time to sit down and enjoy time with my husband (before baby). I would do normal chores during the day between classes and homework (i.e laundry, dishes, vacuuming), and when he finally got home from work I was finishing up dinner followed by going around cleaning up the trail of dirt he left behind. Let me also say that Alex (my hubby) tries so hard to be clean and to help me out but ladies I think you can relate; men are oblivious. I love him dearly but he will never see the black finger prints on the cabinets, the dirty elbow marks on the counter, the endless amount of calamine lotion (poison oak remedy) all over the bathroom sink, floor and shower, and that’s okay. I do my best and prioritize chores, and I schedule some of the major ones during the week so that way I know they get done. I have given up on keeping up with everything, and I’m okay with that. I may have a few dishes in my sink, some dog hair in my carpet, and dirt in my entry way but being snuggled on the couch with my husband and daughter is much more important to me.
Alright on to life lesson #2:
Spontaneity is good, and I need more of it.
I am one hundred percent an addicted planner and list maker (anyone know of meeting for this?). I love my cute little planner and all my cute little journals full of lists and ideas, but this has definitely led to some difficulties in life (see my post on Expectations Versus Reality). My husband is the type of guy that flies by the seat of his pants; he’s always down for a spur of the moment adventure and I need this in my life! I’m terrible at going away from “the plan” for the day but I always have way more fun when we do. Without him I’m afraid at the rigidity (you guys I cannot for the life of me pronounce that word) that my life would have. Thanks honey for always dragging me out of my comfort zone.
Lesson #3 is a little more broad:
Men who work hard are not less than those that make millions.
I grew up with my dad being an engineer. Now I’m not saying that he didn’t work hard because he most definitely did but it was a different type of work than what my husband does now. Living in white collar suburbia there was always a sense of being better than those that held the manual labor positions. I deeply regret ever having this sentiment and I swear I will teach my children to never think this way. If you’ve never been around those men that work out in the elements doing hard, manual work then I’m afraid you might not appreciate them for who they are. Just because they don’t have a college degree or wear clean, pressed clothes everyday does not mean that they are beneath anyone. My husband is one of the smartest people I know, and let me tell you when he talks to me about work I am amazed at the amount of technique, skill, and brains it takes to do his job safely. I’m happy to have learned this lesson and I am even happier to pass it along to Charlotte.
And last but certainly not least, #4:
He has taught me to love myself.
I’ve been with my husband since middle school, so it feels like we have grown up together. I’ve gone from an awkward, self-conscious 13 year-old girl to a confident wife and mother (side-note: I’ve gotten to see my husband come into his own also, from a kid trying so hard to fit into southern California to a self-assured man that knows who he is in Oregon). Every single day at some point in all the craziness my husband tells me I’m beautiful, and not in the obligated husband-wife type of way, but in a way that is so genuine that it always seems to pause the hectic-ness for a second. Having someone that I know loves me for the good, bad, and the ugly (because I am totally an ugly crier, not Kim Kardashian status but close), gives me the self-assurance to hold my head high each day. Naturally I am a very shy, reserved person who hates confrontation or voicing my opinion but his strength and constant love has given volume to my voice. Now I have the confidence to put myself out there more because I know that at the end of the day he’s standing there arms wide open. Having him behind me has made me realize that if he can love everything about me it would be silly for me to not do the same (that’s not to say that I don’t have those days where I think less of myself; we all do).
All of these lessons have also showed me what I hope to teach my daughter to look for in her future husband. For her I want a man that thinks of her as his whole world, and will do anything in his power to make her happy. Someone that holds her accountable, supports her dreams, and pushes her outside of her comfort zone. The amount of money he makes, and the things he can buy her isn’t what matters; it’s how he treats her. This is what I hope to pass onto her because her daddy is all of this to me and more.
Thank you honey.
Is there anything that you feel like her husband has brought to your life?