Before I get started let me say that being mommy to my little girl Charlotte is truly the most rewarding job that I have ever done. I’m beyond grateful that I get to be her mom, but that’s not to say that there are some aspects of this job title that are not very glamorous or enjoyable. This post is dedicated to being honest about the times in which I am on the verge of pulling all of my hair out.
Breastfeeding is NOT all it’s cracked up to be.
First of all it hurts, not just like “oh, ouch” but “holy cow get this baby off of me!” It literally feels like your child is trying to suck that part of your body right off. Plus if your baby is anything like mine, they will fall asleep after about 5 minutes and refuse to wake up, so they will wake up hungry every hour instead of every 2. Breastfeeding, don’t get me wrong, once you get the hang of it (which can take months) is a wonderful bonding experience but don’t let those other moms fool you, it is tough!
Newborns poop…A LOT.
I know, I know everyone says this and as a first time I honestly thought people were just being dramatic. Nope! I swear to you Charlotte pooped like 10 times in one day when she was 2 weeks old. How can something so small produce so much poop!? Well if you ate every hour and a half to two hours I’m sure you would too. As a new mom I spend about half my day changing dirty diapers, and I’m not going to lie when the hubby gets home I am ecstatic to have him change a few.
Who really can “nap when they nap?”
I’ve never been a napping person to begin with but sleeping when the baby does during the day is literally impossible most of the time. Some days she only sleeps for maybe 45 minutes at a time, and other days she wakes right back up as soon as I set her down (especially as a newborn). Plus I do have to feed myself at some point during the day so usually naptime is the perfect opportunity to quickly shovel food into mouth before working on the never ending mountain of dirty clothes. If I slept when she did during the day, she would have no clean clothes or burp clothes, I would starve to death (that may be slightly dramatic), and my apartment would be absolutely filthy (not that it’s spotless at the moment). Napping when they nap is like finding a unicorn it is a magical concept that only exists in fairytales.
A screaming baby loses some of the “cuteness” appeal.
Babies are adorable; we can all agree on that, but after your newborn has been crying ALL day those adorable little cheeks just don’t seem quite so cute. I love my daughter her happy little face makes late night and early morning feedings beyond worth it. The days of constant screaming, on the other hand, make me want to rip my hair out, and she’s just not nearly as cute by the end of those.
Growth spurts suck!
Don’t get me wrong seeing my daughter grow is amazing and downright magical at times, but that 6 week growth spurt is absolutely terrible. You just got to the point where your baby is sleeping multiple hours in a row at night, and then the growth spurt happens. You go from 3-5 hours of sleep at one time to maybe 2 hours between feedings. Talk about rough! For my daughter it lasted about 4 nights, but it felt like eternity. I know there were nights I maybe got 2 hours total (and of course it was the middle of the week so I didn’t have help). Let’s just say I am sincerely dreading the next one.
The baby weight does NOT just “melt off.”
So I’ve always been one of “those” women who can eat whatever I want and never gain weight; I’m naturally small (I know you hate me). That being said I just assumed that all those stories of looking 6 months pregnant for weeks postpartum just wasn’t going to apply to me. Wrong!! You guys 8 weeks later I still have a pooch and my stomach is loose and slightly “flabby.” Breastfeeding definitely helps after about 2 weeks or so, but it does NOT take all of the weight. So be prepared and embrace it, and maybe buy some pants like one or two sizes up from your pre-baby jeans.
Sleep deprivation does more than just create bags under your eyes.
Yes, I permanently have dark circles under my eyes from my lack of sleep but that’s not even the worst of it. My skin has never looked so dull and just flat out unhealthy, and I was not prepared for that! Under eye concealer is easy to apply, but brightening up your entire complexion is a whole other story, besides who has the time with a baby to even attempt that?
Babies sometimes scream for some completely unknown reason.
There are times I have no idea why she’s crying. She’s been fed, she’s been changed, she recently had a nap, and I’m holding her, so what in the world is wrong!? I have had to come to the conclusion that sometimes my daughter is just in a bad mood regardless of what I do. I will admit that now I have a few more tricks to try to get her to calm down, but still there are those times where NOTHING works.
You will miss your life before baby.
At first I felt SO guilty that I would even think this. I love my daughter, and she is the best thing to ever happen to me; I cry just thinking about her growing up. Still sometimes I miss the ease of just being able to leave the house on a whim or being able to relax, uninterrupted with my husband. Am I a bad mom for thinking this? No I am a human and a person outside of being a mom, so I still have needs and wants of my own. Life before my daughter was definitely a lot easier but life with her is a whole lot better.
It’s easy to neglect your spouse with all that sleep deprivation.
Who wants to be intimate with someone when you could sleep instead!? Those times when you haven’t slept more than 4 hours total for the past three nights being in bed means one thing to you: sleep! Not to say I don’t miss my husband or want that intimacy back, I just want sleep more sometimes. There are other times during the weekend when he is home, and I just want to have time just to myself. He has the baby, and I just want to veg out without interruptions. Family is truly my favorite, when all three of us are together, but I have needs too and some of those needs require time all to myself.
Am a bad person or mom for thinking these things? At first I truly thought so, and I felt incredibly guilty, but now I realize I’m a person who is allowed these opinions once in a while. I love my daughter more than anything, and would do anything for her, but motherhood isn’t a magical place all the time.
Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for not enjoying every second of motherhood. It is magical and amazing, but it is also hard and exhausting.